SY_5sPL8WYlH0ImcdYx58pUime4 Relationships thru Social Media: Relationship Advise in Social Media and the Single Parent

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Relationship Advise in Social Media and the Single Parent

When I got separated a few years back, I was in a total quandary on what I should do about dating.  Being a father of two, my number 1 priority was being a dad, but Dads need a life also...  I joined up on Face book about a month after I got separated and a couple of months later I ventured out on my first date in nearly 20 years...  I was nervous enough being on a 20 year dating hiatus, let alone thinking about dating with two kids...  How they would feel about it and all..

My first date was set up ironically through the wonder we call Face Book, which for single parents is kind of way cool because of course when you do your about me page, you write stuff about you of course and on mine I had I was a father of two, so when starting a friendship that might lead to dating and maybe into a relationship, the people, aka ladies, know right up front you have kids and they are important to you.  At least with me they would because the majority of what I would write about was my kids and things we did together.

So before I ever went out with the lady, who I was friends with on Face Book, she knew that I had kids and that they were a very intricate part of my life, a hands on dad..  That is one of the cool things I love about face book and meeting new people, off their profile, the about me section of their Face Book, you can find those that have similar interests, common ground...   Common ground is a wonderful thang...

The reason I brought up the common ground thing, which is a natural thing to want when forming friendships at the start anyway.  But being a single parent you also want to make sure you are looking at friendships and maybe even further, that start out on the right foot..  Some people don't like kids, personally I don't understand that, but there are people that don't.  So you wouldn't want to go out with someone that didn't like kids, when you have them, because in dating and the possibility of a long term or even a short term relationship, your kids are part of the package.  They are with you and that is that, nothing nor no one will or could or should change that..

Now I am a rather protective parent some might say, my kids are on my Face Book wall, my children are younger so I watch what kind of content and language is on my wall, because they will see it.  So anything risque or suggestive is immediately deleted.  Also when dating and the ladies I have dated in the last three years have been those I have met on Face Book.  I am not quick to introduce them to my kids, I don't date a lot and feel more comfortable being in a relationship, when I feel the person I am with is one that a relationship is forming then I look to introduce her to my kids, but I have never done that right off the bat after a first date..

My thought process with that was, what happens if things from a relationship standpoint aren't working and the kids really like her, then it can be very hard on them if a breakup occurs.  So I have waited to bring them together till it looks as though a relationship is underway.. 

Being a single parent brings along a lot of responsibility with dating to both start working on a relationship with someone but also making sure that someone is one who is okay with the whole package, kids included.  Separation and divorce brings a lot of upheaval and turmoil into your kids lives, I never wanted it to seem as though ladies in my life were a revolving door kind of thing, adding more constant upheaval in their lives.

No matter what and this is my personal belief and everyone has to make their own judgement on their life, but for me being a parent, my kids are always my #1 priority, dating or anyone in my life never trumps them, they are always #1 with a bullet.  And I do my best to try and protect them, which includes making sure that a true relationship is underway before they get brought into the mix... 

Definitely my #1 single parent dating rule...

What is yours...?????   I would love to get some opinions on this, so please leave your comments, plus subscribe to my RSS feed..  While you are at it, please share this on your Twitter, Face Book and Google + accounts...

Thanks again for visiting, hope to see you again soon...  Until then smiles to you all from your bud on the lake they call Ackerson...  :)

Peace Y'all

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